to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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