i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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