Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
