Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Shame is for Republicans.
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