I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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