last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
