I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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