real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I faked an abortion last night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i now understand why vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize