you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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