you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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