i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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