I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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