On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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