So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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