made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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