One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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