She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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