CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
