theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
