it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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