Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Pants are for mortals
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.