If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...