i don't like sucking hair
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE