Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel