I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.