I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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