i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
