i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
