Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
