operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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