Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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