I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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