i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
