I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't think brook has ever known best
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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