His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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