If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
