You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You took a bar mat shot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
