im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
