Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize