i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
