I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
