Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
