I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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