Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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