Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
