I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
