Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
