Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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