I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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