xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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