So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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