I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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