had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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