Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
