I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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