Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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