margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
