That's when you crack a 10am beer
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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