We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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