The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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